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Polio's Big Discovery
(a story)

Polio was a beautiful healthy green bird who lived near a large river that flowed through a medium-sized town.  She lived a good life.  There were always plenty of insects to dine upon and she got along with all the other birds (even the ones she didn't really care for).  Yes, life was smooth and easy for Polio.  And yet...she always had the strange feeling that something wasn't quite right.  It was almost as if something was missing in her life.  Most of the time she told herself that such thinking was nonsense.  She would then immediately free her mind of those kinds of thoughts.

One beautiful Autumn afternoon Polio was perched on one of the long black ropes that held the big wooden posts up (she was perpetually confused by this).  This was one of her favorite spots because it gave a cool aerial view of just about everything.  Just as she was gazing into the sunset she suddenly felt something crawling near her foot.  It was a tiny insect that had decided it wanted to share the view.  Instantly annoyed, Polio sharply snapped her beak at the insect and it quickly flew away.  While ridding herself of the nuisance, however, her beak inadvertently hit the long black rope thing and got stuck in it.  With a bit of effort she was able to pull herself free.  She then adjusted her sitting position so that she was more comfortable.

And that's when...it hit.  Polio felt something happen totally out of the blue.  It was a sensation unlike anything she had ever experienced.  She looked up into the sky and saw an imaginary bridge suddenly building itself out of paranoia strings.  The normally blue sky began turning vibrant red.  She did not know what was going on, but unfamiliar things always frightened her.  So Polio flew away quickly and returned to her nest.  It was late anyway and she was feeling tired.  She ruffled her feathers about and positioned herself in a nice cozy position for sleeping.  As she was entering dreamland she kept thinking about the strange experience on the black rope.  What kind of feeling was that?  Where did it come from?  And what did it mean?  Was there something special about her that made it happen?  Although her mind was racing she eventually fell into a deep deep sleep and dreamed about all the things that are most important to birds.

The next morning she awoke and flew down to the ground for breakfast.  The area beneath her nest was particularly fertile for tasty insects.  After she had eaten everything that she wanted she decided to take a morning flight.  While in mid-air, she came across some familiar faces.

"Hello there Polio!" chirped Porch, the Sparrow as he flew past.  "Lovely morning!"
"Good morning Porch!" Polio replied.  "Indeed it is!"

A few minutes later she spotted Mr. Barn, the Owl.

"Good morning Mr. Barn!" she chirped.
"And a good morning to you, Polio!" Mr. Barn responded.

It was a beautiful morning and everything seemed normal.  But it wasn't long before Polio's thoughts returned to the black rope.

"I've just GOT to go back there to investigate," she told herself.

And with that she flew along merrily until she found the exact spot where it happened.  She was certain it was the exact spot because it was the place where her beak made a small hole.

Polio sat down and felt comfy.  Then of a sudden she felt that same intense zap go through her body.  The bridge made of paranoia strings appeared again, but this time it was vibrating with pointy blue sprinkles.  Lime green poppers zipped up through the steps of the bridge and transformed into little tiger brittles.  She felt her spine vibrate with several routine sponge maneuvers.  Her feathers zipped up the muck and caused her brain to swallow.  This experience was much stranger and more intense than the last one.  Just like before, her first reaction was fright...but that was quickly followed by curiosity and a peculiar kind of excitement.  So she just stayed put and waited.

A few seconds later she felt the surge grow stronger and her vision began to resemble cartoon material.  She no longer felt afraid, this time she felt very excited in a nervous kind of way.

"This is feeling very good to me!" Polio thought to herself.

She looked down and noticed that one of her toes was touching the tippy tip of the tiny hole left from her beak.

"I have discovered some kind of wonderful incredible thing!" Polio exclaimed to herself.  "I must share my good fortune with my special friends!"

She'd had enough excitement for now, so she flew away to share the news with her favorite pals.  It wasn't long before she spotted Porch again.

"Oh Porch!  Come  quickly!  Come quickly at once!" she shouted out to him.
"Why, oh my, YES!" Porch replied.  He knew that Polio would never make such a request if it wasn't something truly important.

Porch followed Polio to the special place on the black rope.  As he perched very near to it, Polio reached her beak down near his claws and pecked a small hole there.  Then she situated herself back on her special spot.

"Get ready..." Polio said.

Porch gave her a curious look.

The sky turned blood red.  The thread bridge appeared in the sky, shaking with furious otter puffs.  The sound of a backwards orchestra surged into the soundtrack while thousands of tiny myth flowers popped out everywhere.  A frivolous scent wafted through the air, carrying the tangible tax burdens of nobody in particular.  Circles popped into focus before transforming into octagons and then the octagons became the furious focal point of two rapid-fire Renaldos.  Polio and Porch shook with excitement.  Their blood was pulsing at near light speed and their hearts were slapping up a mashed up paddy wash.  When they made eye contact, they found they were both grinning from ear to ear.

Suddenly an extremely tiny fairy flew in front of them and sat perfectly still in mid-air like a hummingbird.  It scowled at them and then suddenly made a command.

"Enough for now!" the fairy screeched.

And with that, the two birds were suddenly up, off and on their way...spiraling into the air the way birds normally do.

"Wow, that was great big FUN!" exclaimed Porch.  "Let's do it again tomorrow!"
"I would like that very much," Polio replied.

Early the next morning Polio and Porch began flying toward their favorite spot.  Along the way they spotted Mr. Barn who was having a most splendid time swooping about near the edge of the forest.

"Mr. Barn!  You must join us today!" Polio cried out.
"But whatever for?" Mr. Barn asked.
"Never mind, just join us now!" Porch demanded.  "You will never EVER regret it!"

Without bothering to question them further, Mr. Barn immediately flew into the sky alongside his friends.  He couldn't imagine what had caused them to become so charged up and excited.  But he knew it must be something really good.  It wasn't long before they were at the special place.

Polio pecked a small hole into the black rope.  She pointed her claw at the spot and told Mr. Barn to perch there.  Then she and Porch got situated on their appropriate places.

"Get ready," Polio whispered.  "Three, two, one..."

A loud gong sound caught them by surprise as the clouds flashed pumpkin purple.  A strangely different bridge appeared this time, covered with accidental froth and isolated budgets.  The backwards orchestra suddenly became visible, with all the players slowly rising into the sky as their instruments collided to create strangely invisible musical sounds.  A traffic light appeared in front of them, and it was changing from red to green.  As it turned green, two thousand cheetahs sprinted out from the middle of it.  Each cheetah had a lamp in its mouth and each lamp had a bulb that was fifteen colors long.  The three birds began to vibrate.  Mr. Barn began spinning wildly in circles around the black rope.  All of his feathers were standing on edge, making him look like some sort of psychotic ostrich thing.  The other two birds found this extremely hilarious so they began to titter.  As they did, they laughed so uncontrollably that all three fell off the black rope.

In an instant, they were flying through the air together and everything was normal again.

"Wow!" Mr. Barn exclaimed.  "What was that?"
"I'm not sure," Polio replied.  "But whatever it is, it is very very good."
"You can say that again!" chimed Porch.  "We must surely do this thing again tomorrow morning!"

It wasn't long before word spread to every nook and cranny about the special exciting place (you know how owls are, they can never ever keep anything confidential).  The next day the three friends got together for a quick breakfast and then made their way to their favorite spot.  When they got there they found more than two dozen birds sitting side by side.

"It doesn't work!" one of the birds cried out as it flapped its wings in anger.
"I knew it was a hoax!" exclaimed another while cursing under its breath.

"Silly birds!" scowled Porch.  "You forgot the most important variable.  Here, do this."

He pecked at the black rope beneath his claw.  As he did, all the other birds followed in line, immediately doing the same.

The crashing walls of everything damned all the way open with wide jowels and crunched with top volume from high above.  Sixty million mermaids swam through the pieces of toughness to cram up the orchestra players.  They were turning purple and lime green, and tiny orange kittens were scampering out of their instruments with flushers.  The zombie smackers made papa for the noodle march, and shards of tricky sissies barked up potato muffins into the cascading ovens.

Just then, without warning, it started to rain.

Tinkertoy dogs whizzed through the air making it hard for traffic to persist.  Two dozen Hollywood inversions appeared before the birds, strutting their celebrity status to the gurgles that smushed everything up.  Polio, Porch and Mr. Barn felt dizzy, then excited and then dizzy again.  Their eyes were so dilated that they were having difficulty identifying exactly what was happening.  Two million buckets of painted whiz frizzled down the corners of stuff and made waffle tracks blur away from everything.  The birds began to vibrate and jerk real spastic like.  Then they all went into a dreamlike hypnotic state which caused them to surrender to packs of little pixie nuts on a faraway galaxy.

A strange scent was present, and it wasn't something that could be identified.  A flock of deer patrolled the impending toxic bucket and trampled everything to a fine puckish nurture.  The nurture was wicked and stuffed up the buffers.

"We need to leave...right now before..."

But before Mr. Barn could even finish his sentence, everything stopped to a grinding halt.  The sky turned pretty blue again and everything was perfectly still and completely normal.  Completely normal...except for the fact that all of the birds were now completely silent and motionless.

And that is the way they stayed, forever.

Late that afternoon two small parakeets flew by and noticed all the birds sitting completely still on the rope.  Although they were covered with charred black pigments and soot, there was a vague but obvious transcendent smile plastered on each of their gentle corpse beaks.

"Tsk, tsk, birds these days..." one parakeet lamented while shaking his head.

The parakeets descended onto the rope and then pecked at it.  Their eyes met and the sky turned red as they began chanting the words firmly cemented in their heads:

"Tonto, pork, billiards, potato.  Tonto, pork, billiards, potato..."


 2022 LMNOP aka dONW7