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March 2000 Goddamn Snooty Reviews by

RATING SYSTEM | Alien Crime Syndicate | American Heartbreak | The Breetles | Butterfly Joe | Ray Campi | Celebrity Endorsements | Billy Mahonie | Bowery Electric | Enon | From Bubblegum To Sky | The Gimmicks | The Gordon Project | The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy | The Jimmies | The Lassie Foundation | | Gunnar Madsen | Monkey Paw | The Monkey Wrench | The New Century Is Boring | Poster Children | Rinocerose | Sonny Sixkiller | Robin Spielberg | Peggy Stern | The The | Trunk Federation | Violent Femmes | Union | Web Sites | The Who

= We can goddamn HATE it...because it is goddamn SHITTY!

Alien Crime Syndicate - Dust to Dirt (CD, Collective Fruit, Pop/rock)
This is the new project spearheaded by ex-Mieces member Joe Reineke. Since the Mieces never received the respect and admiration that they deserved, hopefully Alien Crime Syndiate will. The music here is punchy fuzzy guitar pop with driving rhythms and uplifting melodies galore. There are so many bands playing this style of music...and yet it is still difficult to find such bands that are actually adept and original. These guys fit the bill. Twelve super songs here...including "Take Me To Your Leader," "Outerspace," "I Want It All," "Always Running" and our favorite..."Tripping Up To The Clouds." This disc is a great listen that doesn't require too much thinking...and yet causes you to reflect. Very nice stuff indeed. See the label's web site at (Rating: 4)

American Heartbreak - Postcards From Hell (CD, Coldfront, Rock/pop)
The folks at Coldfront have quickly established themselves as a major force in presenting new and totally credible rock/pop bands. Each and every release features one after another great band...packaged just right and produced to a T. The label's latest find is American Heartbreak...a band (interestingly) composed of ex-members of Exodus, Jet Boy, Mordred, and...The Bay City Rollers (?!). This is very basic in-your-face rock music with singalong choruses and lots of nice fuzzy guitars. The band presents thirteen cool rockers like "Superstar," "Please Kill Me," and "Idiots On Parade" (we can definitely identify with that last one). Powerful and simultaneously catchy. Cool, neato... (Rating: 4)

The Breetles - Writerscramp (CD, Permanent Press, Pop)
My guess is that this is the CD that Chris Breetveld has always dreamed of making. This is a disc that is going to cause major stirs amongst underground pop enthusiasts around the world. For anyone who ever loved (and lamented) the late great 10CC...this is the disc (and artist) for you. The music of The Breetles picks up where 10CC left off. Breezy melodies...thick harmonies...and smart technological hooks abound throughout all sixtreen tracks. Our initial favorites are "I Don't Live Here," "Same As Me," "Psychotic Season," and "Someone Near Me"...but all the tunes are actually wonderfully fun and catchy. Although Mr. Breetveld writes and plays almost everything, guest appearances include Dennis Diken (The Smithereens), R. Stevie Moore, Chris Butler, and Lane Steinberg. Easily one of the best pop CDs thus far released this year. This is a giant blast of sincere and pleasing melodies and superb arrangements. Refreshing and pure...and very, very NEAT. See these sites: and/or (Rating: 5)

Butterfly Joe - Butterfly Joe (CD, Razler/Lightyear, Pop)
First reactions here. "Happy Imbecile Song" is an absolutely brilliant tune. It makes us laugh and feel as stupid as we are. "April, May, June, July"...simple catchy pop. "Don't Do This To Me Baby"...violent homo stuff. "Autumn Leaves"...reflective and surprisingly pretty (reminds us of Young Fresh Fellows). "Life Is Better In The Movies"...really good lyrics. "Fancy Walls"...peculiar and vague and dreamy. Hey...wait a minute...there's 17 tunes here, so we'll have to draw generalizations at this point. Former Dead Milkman Joe Genaro has a new outfit, and it's a great thing. The music of Butterfly Joe, while similar to the music of the Milkmen, is amazingly diversified, crazy, serious, and relevant. The band also features Andy Bresnen, Dean Sabatino, and Joe Quigley. This is a very unstereotypical band, to be certain. The music is as abstract and somewhat normal as the band's appearance. A true standout in a world where there is too much boring, samey shit. We LIKE VERY MUCH! Truly NEATO. See the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

Ray Campi - Rockabilly Ladies (CD, Dionysus Empire, Rockabilly)
There are times when we think that we absolutely hate rockabilly music...but then we know that those moments are when we are faced with a bunch of modern musicians who are doing nothing more than making a sad attempt at imitation. You see, when faced with the real thing...we are almost ALWAYS impressed. Ray Campi is one of the original rockabilly legends...the man has been at it since 1951 and yet he shows no signs of fading. This particular recording features Campi and other great notables (including Skip Heller, Matt Cartsonis, Steve Van Gelder, and Johnny Legends) playing acoustic rockabilly. The idea works EXTREMELY well...making tunes such as "Until You're Mine" and "How Come You're Being So Good To Me?" absolute gems. This whole disc is great fun, and it resounds with genuine talent and enthusiasm. Very worthy of your attention if you even THINK that you MIGHT like rockabilly music. Check out the label's web site: (Rating: 5)

Celebrity Endorsements (Really and truly dumb sort of thing that works on dumb sorts of people, Marketing tactic kind of crap)
Would someone please explain to us why it is that celebrity endorsements seem to actually have the effect of making people buy or do things? It is a difficult concept to grasp, yet amazingly true. Gee...if Okrah Nignog is wearing a certain type of clothing, you can be SURE AS GODDAMN HELL we wouldn't want to wear it. So why is it that when someone like Tom Hanks endorses some retarded shit of a product...that all these moronic assholes go running after it? Why? Because people are assholes. All of them. Stupid assholes. And stupid people fall for it when other stupid people fool them by using marketing campaigns. It works because all of the parties...the participants and the audience...are both guilty. An easy word of advice. If there is a commercial about something, you must AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME THAT IT IS BAD. There. And that was so easy too... (Rating: 1)

Billy Mahonie - The Big Dig (CD, Beggars Banquet/Too Pure, Rock/instrumental)
According to publicist sources, this band is already starting fires in the British press...and deservedly so. Billy Mahonie is an all-instrumental rock band that neither sounds like all the rest nor travels the same old beaten roads. Instead of squishing out retro-crap, these fellows have a nice understated way of getting their messages across. Interesting that...while words are nice...they are not really necessary to convey emotions or feelings. The tunes on The Big Dig are proof of the fact. This band is able to display a wide range of emotions using nothing but their instruments. Sometimes soft, sometimes loud, sometimes obtuse, and sometimes accessible and freewheeling...this is a VERY COOL band indeed. Neat. See the band's web site at (Rating: 5)

Bowery Electric - Lushlife (CD, Beggars Banquet, Dub/pop/ambient)
Distant, stark, and impersonal...sort of like a cross between Ivy and Scorn. Bowery Electric is the duo of Lawrence Chandler and Martha Schwendener. The two create their music in their own studio in the heart of Brooklyn, crafting their oblique melodies and transferring them to hard disk...with all sorts of effects and studio tricks added along the way. The result is a strangely unsettling and continually shifting batch of tunes that you can either dance to...or lay back on the couch and pop downers to. This music is appropriate for either. Ms. Schwendener's vocals are particular good...sounding something like Dominque Durand (of the previously mentioned Ivy)...except even more breathy and sultry. Overall, this is very nice... (Rating: 4)

Enon - Believo! (CD, SeeThru Broadcasting, Pop/rock)
Enon consists of John Schmersal (Brainiac), Rick Lee, and Steve Calhoon (both of Skeleton Key). An intriguing disc... mainly because we were surprised from tune to tune. You never quite know what to expect from these folks. Is this art rock, pop, abstract experimentation, industrial, or just plain old rock and roll? Your guess is as good as ours (well, perhaps not quite as good, mind you). These folks are obviously not striving for commercial success with this one. Instead, these bands members most likely were just interested in having a great time recording and seeing what they could come up with. We always give extra points for originality...because even though there are tons of new artists and bands popping up all the time...originality is the one thing that seems to be more and more difficult to find. This is a very difficult one to rate because of the wide range of sounds and styles. Our favorite is the haunting "Matters Gray"'s very cool and eerie. Recommended listening. See the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

From Bubblegum To Sky - Me and Amy and the Two French Boys (CD, Eenie Meenie, Bubblegum pop)
It has always seemed stupid and sad that bubblegum basically died in the 1960s...and has never really made a resurgence to any degree of note. Accordingly, whenever we receive anything in the mail that even hints at bubblegum we get as excited as skunks. But unlike many bands who teeter on the edge of bubblegum, From Bubblegum To Sky jump dead center into the pool with their convictions displayed proudly upon their sleeves. This is happy, upbeat, sing-songy music for folks (like ourselves) who get very, VERY tired of hearing too many people trying WAY TOO HARD...and being WAY TOO SERIOUS. In addition to writing some really fun and great songs, Mario Hernandez has a wonderfully "oooo-oooo" innocent bubblegummy voice that'll make you see stars. GREAT stuff...and very much outside the norm...despite a great deal of commercial potential. YES! Very, VERY refreshing indeed. Check out the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

The Gimmicks - Honeymoon's Over (CD, Estrus!, Rock)
Fun stuff...and a definite Stooges rebirth if we've ever heard one. The songs on Honeymoon's Over sound very much like they came straight off of Funhouse...and we feel certain that the band will take this as the compliment that it is intended to be. For you see...while millions of bands attempt to capture the sound and feel of the Stooges...very VERY few succeed. The Gimmicks' gimmick works. They really do sound like Iggy and the gang reborn. And for that, they deserve a round of applause. They are furious fun and mighty masculine indeed. We hope to be able to catch these guys in concert, as they would most likely put on a HELL of a show... (Rating: 5)

The Gordon Project - I Can See Heaven From Here... (CD, Koch, Jazz)
This is a very pleasing light collection of breezy jazz/pop. The band is headed by percussionist Howee Gordon and features a rather impressive female vocalist named Elysa Sunshine (is that her REAL name?). At first the cover art bothered us for some's rather cheesy and odd...but after a while, we found that we really dig the artwork in particular. The production is glossy and slick...the tunes very middle-of-the-road...but the playing is solid and steady and very determined. It is always a pleasure in this tidy little office when we are presented with music that does NOT require too much thought or concentration. This is easy listening for certain, and we say that with utmost repect...! This will be great driving music for the mountains...and for swerving around to yard sales... Quite cool. (Rating: 4)

The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy - Glorious and Idiotic (CD, ROIR, Pop)
The first new release in five years by underground favorites The Jazz Butcher Conspiracy. And would you believe it? This is the first full-length we've heard...even though the band has been around since 1982...! This band's light, thoughtful pop music is a refreshing change from too many bands that all sound the same. The focus is on melodies and...particularly...lyrics. Very British in his delivery, bandleader Pat Fish has a real genuine knack for writing tunes, playing, and singing. This ought to please all the eager fans as well as make some new converts along the way. You can call us converted...or something like that. A very nice...and very sincere...disc indeed... See the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

The Jimmies - Let the Fat Men Plunder (CD, Panic Button, Rock/pop)
GREAT cover art on this one of some heavy hairy guy playing guitar. Cooooooool... But even better is the music. The Jimmies play a very simple and playful sort of buzzsaw pop that is heavy on melodies and noticeably short on lead guitars. These four odd looking fellows are real naturals at playing hard pop. Rather than shouting or screaming, they have really good vocals and write some damn good lyrics. But probably the best single thing about this band is their ability to write truly catchy material. Most likely, you will find yourself singing along with them on the very first listen. And there ain't a bad one in the bunch...they ALL kick ass. Our initial faves are "Sweat and Blood," "Ginger," "Closer To You," and "Advantage." If you think you're bored to death with the idea of guitar/bass/drum bands because they all sound the same...give this disc a spin. Most likely your faith will be renewed again. This one's total fun. See the label's web site at (Rating: 5)

The Lassie Foundation - El Rey (CD EP, Anisette, Pop)
By far and away, one of the very best new bands we heard in 1999 was The Lassie Foundation. We are happy to report that the band's new EP is yet another blast of fresh and exhilerating pop. This time around, the band presents two songs from their California EP, two from the great Pacifico album, and two new tunes. The Lassie Foundation's dreamy and intoxicatingly catchy tunes flow by as smoothly as a stream in the forest...and you're always left yearning for more. In this case...seeing as how there are only 6 tunes (dammit!)...we are definitely yearning for more. Hopefully the band will release another full length their fans must surely be crawling the walls by now...! Absolutely STELLAR pop tunes. Check out the band's web site at GREAT stuff...! Highly recommended. (Rating: 5) (Web site sort of thing kind of thing)
Well surprise, surprise...

Gunnar Madsen - Old Mr. Mackle Hackle (CD, G-Spot, Childrens pop)
Funny how a great deal of the stuff coming out these days that is aimed at children is actually better than the stuff that is aimed at adults. This is true in art, music, film, clothing, food products, games, parties, and even the Internet. Gunnar Madsen's former band need not be mentioned at this point, as he has now far surpassed his previous endeavors. This collection of tunes aimed (mainly) at children is different than what you might expect. First, the music is much more complicated than one is used to hearing in the world of kiddie tunes. Why is it that children never seem to be given credit for how intelligent they really are...? Secondly, the production is superbly crisp and clean. Third, the arrangements are very mature and intricate The tunes range from simple and straightforward to somewhat goofy and abstract. This is almost impossible to rate because it doesn't quite fit into any particular slot. So...while we won't rate this one...we can report that we enjoy this as something out of a different universe... See the label's web site at (Not Rated)

Monkey Paw - Hating You Is So Easy (CD, Four Alarm Records, Rock)
While we experience a wide range of emotions when listening to is rare indeed when an artist can make us laugh out loud. Playing the latest release from Chicago's Monkey Paw was, therefore, a totally refreshing experience...because we were falling off of our respective chairs when the first tune came on ("F*ck Your Mother"). Of course, the brilliant press release had already caught our unsteady attention. Here's a direct quote: "Monkey Paw has a lot to be angry about. Whether its male pattern baldness, obesity, excessive body hair, drinking problems or the many failed attempts with the opposite sex, Monkey Paw uses music to express their emotions..." Interestingly, this is NOT a "joke" band. These fellows are damn talented. The proof is tunes like "Let's Get Married" (wonderful melody here) and "What Do You Get." While this band sounds like many that have come before, there is a nice genuine thread of uniqueness running through their tunes. Some songs are better than others, yes...but the important thing is that this band manages to create music that is absolutely F-U-N for the listener. Can't WAIT to see 'em live...! Zee webb sight? Shee izzzz... (Rating: 4)

The Monkey Wrench - Electric Children (CD, Estrus!, Rock)
Just plain ol' fun and simple rock. No dumb Satanic references...just a band that plays some fun rock music for the sake of having a good time. The Monkey Wrench have a nice loose style that will appeal to those who enjoy alcohol and marijuana. While this disc includes a couple of covers, the majority are originals. As usual, if it's on the Estrus! label it has to be good. Thirteen kickass tunes. Neat. (Rating: 4)

The New Century Is Boring (Thing sort of thing kind of thing)
Hey...what the HELL is going on...??? With the end of the 1900s everyone was expecting all these incredibly weird things to happen...but they never did. And then there was all the BIG HYPE about the year 2000 starting... What happened? The new century has begun...and not a goddamn thing has changed. The same retarded social structure exists...the same old music gets re-churned over and again by the same old tired musicians...rotten movies abound...crappy parties everywhere that aren't worth attending...and to top it all off we have to live through it all. Gee...the world is supposed to be so great...but it just ISN'T. It's a shame really. Everything could be so wonderful and incredible...but instead everything is just disappointing and dull. Maybe that means something...but then again, maybe it doesn't. As long as there are people, everything will continue to suck. Pray for the human race...will you, won't you? Pray that it will soon CEASE to EXIST. There now...that WOULD be a solution... (Rating: 2)

Poster Children - DDD (CD, spinART, Rock/pop)
One of our all time favorite bands is back with yet ANOTHER stunning release. Whereas the band's previous release was more hard edged than normal, DDD has more of a pop flavor that harkens back to their wonderful Junior Citizen release from a few years back (the album that made us fall for them head over heels). We always respect bands who stick to their moral convictions instead of selling their souls for money and fame. The Poster Children are doing just that...and they follow their instincts with poise and style. Their music is solid, intense, provocative, and addicting. The tunes on this CD rival any that the band has come up with yet. From the intoxicatingly cathy "This Town Needs A Fire" all the way through "Peck N' Paw," you will find it difficult to stay in one place while listening to this. In some ways, this may actually be our favorite since the previously mentioned Citizen...since the band seems to be taking a stab at writing material that is almost straightforward pop. But don't worry...they have not lost their "edge" and are not likely to do so anytime soon. Anyone who has seen these four individuals in concert knows that they are one of the most powerful and explosive rock units on the tough as nails...and as refreshingly different as a brisk mountain stream. Goddamnit...this is so great...! One day this band may end up being really big and famous...but if/when that day comes, it will be on their own terms.... Of that we feel certain. GET THIS MOMMY...NOW! Derr webb syte shee izz (Rating: 6)

Rinocerose - Installantion Sonore (CD, V2, Pop/dance)
Smooth and easy listening instrumental dance music. The band consists of Jean-Philippe and Patou. By day, the two are practicing psychologists. By night, they are music composers. Interesting, to say the least. The tunes on this disc are based around mind numbingly steady drum beats. Lots of different percussive instruments, guitars, and keyboards are then layered on top...sometimes in conventional ways and at other times in rather unconventional ways. While some of the instrumentation can get on the noisy side at times, for the most part this is very safe material. Could probably be enjoyed just as much by fathers and mothers as by their sons and daughters... (Rating: 3)

Sonny Sixkiller - This Is Your Heaven (CD, Vital Cog, Pop/rock)
Exceptional female fronted pop band. If you like Fuzzy or other similar modern girl pop, you'll want to check out Sonny Sixkiller. The band has a nice, simple, almost bubblegummy approach to music that is refreshing and entertaining. The vocals remind us of Lazy (a great nineties band that was criminally overlooked). This is a very young band that is starting out on a great foot...cranking out seamlessly cool hummable tunes like "Walter It Down," "Halo" (GREAT tune!), "Song In Three," and "Out Of Sight." Guitar, bass, drums, breathy vocals...great melodies...a real flair for writing songs... What more could you ask for? The softer tunes are particularly delightful. This is a band to watch. WAY cool. See the label's web site at (Rating: 4)

Robin Spielberg - Beautiful Dreamer (CD, North Star, Piano/instrumental)
The always enchanting Robin Spielberg is back...with a little something different this time around. Now that she is a mother, Ms. Speilberg has recorded a variety of piano pieces specifically aimed at the ears of the little ones. Included are "Beautiful Dreamer," "Lullaby and Goodnight," "Puff the Magic Dragon," "On Top of Old Smokey" and more. Beautiful stuff...but it is not just to be enjoyed by children. (As a secret admission, we probably like this disc in particular because...despite all our ranting and raving...we ourselves are really just big babies.) Best wishes to the Spielberg family. This would be a great disc to play for your children when they are very, very young to calm and sooth them. Our bet is that this would silence even the crankiest of babies...! Simple and beautiful. The web site is (Rating: 5)

Peggy Stern - [Actual Size] (CD, Koch, Piano/jazz)
Peggy Stern is an exceptional composer and pianist...and we would bet that most folks don't even know who she is. We certainly didn't...until we were fortunate enough to come across this wonderfully entertaining disc. Mrs. Stern's piano compositions have a unique wild undercurrent that makes them fascinating. Her music is full of surprises...and her choice of backing musicians is superb. Almost all of the selections on [Actual Size] are jazzy piano instrumentals. The only exception is "New Rain," an inriguing piece in which Ms. Stern and some of her students perform some splendid vocal chorus work. Because she isn't flashy or using gimmicks to promote herself, Ms. Stern's work probably gets overlooked by a great many folks. This is unfortunate, as her skills far surpass many of the more "successful" jazz pianists out there. A marvelous talent lurking in the undercurrents of jazz. Highly recommended. (Rating: 5)

The The - NakedSelf (CD, Nothing/Interscope, Progressive pop)
We have always felt that Matt Johnson has what must be the ultimate in band names. What could be better than The The? (We actually came up with the name a few years ahead of Matt...seriously...and tried to convince our first band that we should use the name...but they rejected it.) Mr. Johnson's music is always difficult to try and describe because he incorporates so many ideas and styles. This compositions are a heady mix, and yet they retain a certain accessibility that is intriguing. At this point, Matt has become a master of the studio...incorporating all sorts of really cool state-of-the-art tricks into his music. But (unlike most big name artists out there) the studio gadgets support the tunes and make them more interesting. Matt's approach to songwriting reminds us a great deal of Trent Reznor. Not only is he very popular...he's also very smart and creative, and this fellow does not pump out crap in order to make a buck. NakedSelf contains a whole slew of great tunes...including "BoilingPoint," "SwineFever," and "SaltWater." Simultaneously oblique and intense, this is a band that is both an artistic and a critical success... Datt webb site bee (Rating: 5)

Trunk Federation - Lay the Hip (CD, Plastique Recording Co., Pop)
Another thoroughly entertaining released from Phoenix-based Trunk Federation. Already an underground favorite among a growing number of folks, this is a band to keep an eye on. The band's oblique somewhat pop sonic pastries are almost as normal as they are slightly peculiar. There is a definite David Bowie influence apparent in many of the songs on this disc, although these influences are (mostly) subtle. Lots of intricate studio tricks abound throughout these heady concoctions. Good lyrics round out the picture, making this another infectious listening experience. Twelve tunes including "Hey Suitcase," "New Years Baby," and "Life On Crusade." See the band's web site at (Rating: 5)

Violent Femmes - Freak Magnet (CD, Beyond/BMG, Pop)
This is the band's first new release in five years (not counting the recent "live in Wisconsin" disc that came out a few months back). So...what is the deal with Freak Magnet? a way the disc presents more of what you'd expect from Violent Femmes...but on the other hand, the band's new music sounds different than what has come before. A part of us likes the new more rocking sound...but another voice inside our heads tells us that some of this music sounds more generic as a result of the new approach. Our conclusion is that we still like the"old sound" better. The tunes "All I Want" and "Forbidden" are the obvious standouts here. Though this band is always entertaining, this is not their best work. There are some great tracks here...but you'll have to skip through some other less great songs to hear them. We still think these guys have some excellent albums left in 'em... (Rating: 3)

Union - The Blue Room (CD, Spitfire, Rock/pop)
Our first impression was that this was a disc and a band to be tossed to the side. We didn't care for the band name, the publicity photo, the name of the album, or the artwork. add to the questionable nature of the disc...when we checked out the biography we noticed that the band includes two members who were previously with ultra famous bands Motley Crue and Kiss. We almost didn't even put it in the player and the last minute we thought "Now that is just not FAIR. We should at least give this band a chance." BINGO. We are VERY surprised at this one. Instead of hating it to shreds like we expected, we rather LIKE this music...! It's kinda like a combination of Aerosmith, good ol' Motley C. itself, and Queen. The tunes are well thought out and rather inventive. And though the production is super the case of this band's music, it works. There are several wonderful tunes here...including "Do Your Own Thing" (great rock tune) and "Shine" (which is amazingly catchy indeed). hurts very much to say this but...we were...we were...WRONG! Okay...OKAY! So what?!? Big DEAL!!! Actually NO big deal! And do you know WHY? Well, because this is the FIRST TIME we have ever been wrong about anything. So screw it. Oh...and one more thing...this band has the potential to suddenly become very, very BIG. This just might be THE band that the people will want. Slick commercial rock that is actually credible and real and fun. Quite the cool thing... (Rating: 4)

Web Sites (All over the place pages on computers sorts of things)
All web sites are bad. After five minutes they are all as boring as Hell. None of them have anything to offer that you really need. The web is a big joke, just like television was and still is. Anything that you can bring into your home through antennas and wires is a waste of time. Everyone thinks that everyone else is so very clever...when all they're really doing is trying to make money or to build up their own failing egos. Do not allow yourself to be fooled. The Internet is one...big...LIE. (Rating: 1)

The Who - BBC Sessions (CD, MCA, Pop/rock)
This CD features 25 previously unreleased radio broadcasts by The Who from 1965 to 1973. Interesting from a historical perspective, this disc will most likely only be appreciated by Who fanatics and completists. The quality of the recordings varies greatly...and some of this music sounds extremely dated. On some tracks the dated sound quality works in the band's favor...on other tunes, it does not. Things pick up near the end of the disc as the band presents "Substitute," "The Seeker," and "I'm Free." Although interesting, this is more of an obscure historical item. (Not Rated)

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